how i found my "forever" early winter coat

as i share cherished quiet luxuries from the past week

“I’m looking for a forever coat.”

What do I mean by forever? It is exactly what it sounds like; excellent quality, timeless, elegant, effortless, something that will last years and years.

I want it to be special, something that is tailored to my 4’11 frame. I want to channel the Olsen twins with it. It has to be long, sleek, and structured but not stuffy, fitted but also slightly relaxed, exuding masculinity and femininity at the same time. And another important detail: it has to have wide collars, because I want the option to pull it up around my neck on windy and crisp days.

In an era of fast fashion and fast moving trends, I am loving the discourse on the joys of secondhand shopping, searching the vintage market for “the coat.” I am always impressed by creators who find the perfect outerwear (whether it’s wool, cashmere, teddy, blended, oversized, fitted, black, gray, brown) on TRR, Vestiaire, Fashionphile and the like. I love browsing online, imagining myself styling something that will fit like a glove.

This time though, I want the buying experience in addition to said coat. Finding a secondhand treasure is an incredible feeling, but I want to treat myself without having to worry if it will fit at all or fret about how I can keep it clean.

COAT | Uniqlo x JW Anderson (2022)

For the last year and a half during the colder months, I wore my black overcoat from the Uniqlo x JW Anderson collaboration. Its length, thick wool material, and slight slouch are reminiscent of Uniqlo’s functionality combined with JWA’s excellent quality. I love my Uniqlo purchases, especially the white tees (and I have a full drawer full of white, logoless tees) but sadly, I no longer reach for this coat anymore.

So when I told the sales associate at Max Mara¹ I was looking for a “forever” coat, I knew exactly what I wanted. At the boutique, there were racks along one side of the wall with 30-50% markdowns of coats in camel, black, cream, and beautiful gray. But I didn’t see the one that screamed “forever.”

“Are you looking for black?” she asked.

“Yes, black, something very long, maybe slightly oversized.”

COAT | ‘S Max Mara Poldo (Black)

Several years ago during wedding preparations and I was trying on dress after dress with my mom in tow, I remember distinctly loving the very first dress I tried on but trying hard to keep my feelings guarded. I was afraid to get too attached to the very first dress when I had at least three more to go.

So when I tried on was the first coat, “Poldo” in black, size XS, I admit I absolutely loved it, but remained a bit noncommittal. For one, the belt loops were not wool, but thick threads sewn on where the belt loops would be. I wasn’t a big fan at first (I had an Aritzia coat where one of the “threads” snapped off and I had to find a tailor to sew it back), even though associate assured me that "we will take care of it for you if you bring it back.”

I appreciated her response when I shared my concern: “I won’t lie though, it CAN happen.”

I thanked her for her honesty.

COAT | ‘S Max Mara Esturia (Black)

Compared with the Poldo, the Esturia is slightly shorter, and the collar a bit narrower. The belt loops are made of the same 100% virgin wool material (both coats are double faced and incredibly light) and has a “little flair” that had a more feminine silhouette. The Poldo is structured, with a more masculine line, and the bottom length ended right above my ankles, which was exactly what I was looking for. After a second try on of the Poldo, I made my decision. Overall, the try ons and the eventual purchase were painless and easy, exactly what a luxurious experience should be.

RIGHT: Poldo LEFT: Esturia (Max Mara in Black)

And it’s true what they say about Max Mara coats: these are incredibly beautiful garments, they drape well and the style is luxurious. Even with the joining threads, the way the belt hung down (I don’t always tie the belt) was so seamless and elegant. I didn’t mind it so much during my second try-on.

@pamelajiyoungI love a good wool coat on a crisp morning #maxmara #bode #celine #levis #minimalstyle #monochromeoutfit #fashiontiktok #fashiontok #dailyootd #ootdinspo #ootdinspiration #whatiwore

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And the overall result: I love it.

In addition to my luxurious find, these are some more quiet luxuries I indulged in this past week:

• Early morning coffee run to Philz

BAG: Longchamp “Le Pliage” in navy (medium)

My husband always orders their iconic mint mojito. My drink of choice is the Philtered Soul Cold Brew with cream and sweet sugar.

• A quick try-on at Jil Sander

No need to look in the retail market like I did; The Real Real has incredible secondhand Jil Sander ready to wear pieces.

• Reading “The War of Art”

Secondhand books from Bookshop.org

I figured it was time to decisively win my emotional battles against Resistance in the last few months before I enter a new decade. If you’re a creative soul who feels stymied, I recommend this book.

• Indulging in my weekly trip to Maru Coffee for an iced matcha latte and some much needed down time.

I usually alternate between a cream top or an iced matcha. This morning it was the latter, and it was exactly what was needed.

The reason why I share the little things is precisely because that is what they are. I’ve taken for granted these small moments far too many times that I am now proactively trying to cherish them. And I can’t think of a better way than to document it on this newsletter. Speaking of The War of Art, you could say that I beat Resistance by writing this Substack post because analysis paralysis had settled in early yesterday morning², despite my utmost desire to get to writing. I thought I had a good brainstorming session for jotting down post ideas, but I had not written a word until well after 10:00 PM on Saturday night.

TLDR; so here’s a recap of the quiet luxuries of this past week:

• Less is more when shopping for essential outerwear: I decided between two options and stayed true to what I wanted. An honest sales associate makes the buying experience so much better.

• Find a place (bookshop, coffee shop, a park, bench, museum) where you can unwind and recharge your batteries. Even if it is crowded, it is still your time to spend however you want.

• I tried on a shirt that I could’ve blind bought online months ago.

• Making time to read is always a luxury.

• Coffee and books are two quiet luxuries that I love indulging in.

what is on your priority wishlist? It doesn’t have to be a material item, it could be a career goal, a renovation, something you’ve wanted to get done for weeks or months.

BOOTS: Celine | BAGS: Phoebe Philo & Longchamp (Navy in Large) | Shirt: Doen (Here is the Irene Tee in Terre Newport Stripe)

1. I’ve had my eye on a Max Mara coat for years; my mom was gifted one from my dad by this brand and it had been on my priority wish list though at the time, I wanted one in a Camel color.

2. Saturday morning is my most valued time of day because it is the one day out of a week I feel inspired to write my newsletter. Though this past Saturday I feel like the exhaustion from the weekday had settled in and I found myself scrolling through TikTok for some style inspo.